Spoiled Babies???

16Nov07

A little background…
I’m a member of Babyfit.com, an online community for pregnant women (many who continue to be members after their babies arrive). The group there that I’d been most active in during my pregnancy was the group for moms all due in July of 07. I haven’t been there much since Lily-Ann arrived, I simply don’t have much time for things online – regardless of the topic. And believe me, if I were to make time for something, it’s usually something about Lily or the dogs. However, I still have my preferences set to send me notices when something new is posted.
This brings us up to speed.

Today I received an email notice about a new topic that had been posted entitled “SPOLIED BABY!!!” (their spelling error, not mine). I was curious, and had a moment or two still since Damon was downstairs watching a sleeping Lily. Clicking on the link I discovered that one of the moms wanted to know how many other July moms let their babies “CIO” (read as cry it out). All I could think was “Wow! Really?”. We’re talking about three month old babies.

This mom considers her new infant son to be spoiled. She scolds her husband for picking their baby up when he cries. Somehow, she figures he’s misbehaving if he cries because he needs attention and affection. I’m just beyond flabbergasted that someone could honestly believe that a baby who cries out for attention is spoiled or bad.

You can read the whole thread at: http://babyfit.sparkpeople.com/team_messageboard_thread.asp?imBoard=20&imparent=496258

When I tried politely to point out that you cannot spoil such a young baby this was her reply, “When you hold a baby all the time and pick the baby up everytime they cry they respond to it.”

Ummm… well… Yeah. Of course they respond when you pick them up. They respond to love. They respond to being held. You have responded to their request, their need for affection. How anyone can see that as a negative I simply am at a loss to understand.

She also states that “I make sure he is clean, not hungry or upset.”

Perhaps it’s just me, but a baby that is crying and being left to “cry it out” is obviously upset and in distress. How can someone not see that a child, who wants nothing more than to be held and comforted, is upset when you turn away from them and ignore their very fundamental needs and desires?

As my husband responded “how can you spoil a baby with affection?”

Wow. Just wow.

I hope she (or at least someone else reading her post) takes the time to look into Attachment Parenting, or to do a bit of looking into the work of Doctor and Martha Sears. It could do her, and more importantly her baby, a world of good.

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